What about the Missing TATA?

Memories, like the corner of my mind. Lala, lala laa....what about the missing TATA? Where did she go, will she come back, the world wants to know...hehehehehe. As you may remember the TATA had to go. It had caused a lot of problems and had to be eradicated.

Now T had spoke to me about reconstruction. I chose to have a saline chest expander placed in my chest at the same time the mastectomy was done. Now it was time to expand.

Dr. Lewis had wanted me to wait to heal from my last surgery as well as recover from my first round of chemo.

Well, we go to see Dr. Lewis and they are prepared to expand. First we discuss how big do I want to be, than he prepares......Da tadata...

First he has to use a magnet to search for the plug in my expander so he can insert the needle and inject the saline. Than he fills the syringe with about 100 to 150 cc's of saline. Than he places this huge needle in my breast and injects. Amazing. My chest starts to expand like a balloon. I never knew how a balloon felt, but now I do.

You can almost hear the stretch and feel the pull. Also the process hurts a bit. Dr. Lewis is very careful with the stretching as it is very important that he does not over stretch and hurt me as well as he has to keep the skin supple.

This whole process last about 15 to 20 minutes.

Than I am done, I put my stuff the TATA stuff back in my bra and T and I go to Manhattans a local restaurant around the corner.

Now mind you my taste buds suck so eating anywhere is a trial. However, I have always liked Manhattans. I have been going to this restaurant for about 14 years so I am confident I can find something.

I finally have a drink. My taste buds have changed again! From drinking scotch for years I now change to gin and tonic. Tanguery and Tonic to be exact. I think that it is the snap of the gin that eases my taste buds.

T and I have a little time to sit down and reflect on our journey. All of my surgeries, my first chemo and our first session of stretch the TATA.

T has started to call it growing Titties around this Mutha For you!

So now I have simultaneous journeys going on.....the long road of chemo and the growing of the Titties......:)

Dr. Kim

It is now time to see Dr. Kim. I am better and I want to drive. The first thing she says is where is your partner in crime. Told her T had a cold and did not want to come. What I like it is a surprise NOT see T not a surprise to see him. I told Dr. Kim all about my symptoms. Told her that I felt she had thrown the kitchen sink at me. Let her know my brother told her to just throw some knives and spoons. She started to laugh. Said we will adjust the adrimycin...that is what she felt was causing all the problems. She adjusted it by 30 percent! yeah .....Now on to something you all forgot what about the missing TATA?

Side Effects...are a to be expected but aint they a B**tch!

T was nervous during this time. This was the time that he said he made a shift...inside...regarding his priorities. Now mind you , T has been there for me. Really there! holding my hand, rubbing my back, hearing my complaints, rants and raves.


But this time he said to me. He understood how he could put someone before him. Now mind you T is not perfect. By no means. No means. He does not walk on water or teach others. But this dude is ride or die. I know, in my heart no matter what we have been through before BC (breast cancer) and after BC he will be there for me, cause he has chosen to be. Period!




Woo!Woo...now back to the real show the 1st chemo and it side effects.





I experienced them ! Most all of them. Now let me share with you this, My neighbor Ms. Linda is also a breast cancer survivor. She has been diagnosed last summer. She had chemo, double mastectomy , radiation the works. Sister Love did the damn thing. She is my hero and also my high school classmate. Go Hampton High Crabbers! Anywho I digress.


She had given me the heads up....but she also said it was not so bad. Lies! I also met a sister at the cancer walk she said she did it with out any side effects! Lies





Now do not get me wrong...perhaps they had a different dosage, different therapy, etc etc.


I had TAC a very aggressive form of chemotherapy for breast cancer patients with early onset. It is comprised of Taxotere, Adriamycin, and Cytoxan .




http://www.healthtalk.com/breastcancer/interviews/sabcs03_mackey/page02.cfm





The purpose of this form of chemotherapy is the kill.....or as I say annihilate any dang breast cancer cells running around causing havoc. It also can be used the shrink the tumor so that it can be come operable. So it can be before or after the surgery. This is known as neoadjuvant which may be given before surgery or adjuvant therapy which is given after surgery as I stated early to wipe out any lurking cancer demons....errergggh gotcha!


Now lets talk side effects. I was very prepared ! ....what I mean by that, is I knew about them. I knew cause my dad experienced them. Ms. Linda experienced them. I read about them. My practice the Peninsula Cancer Institute provide me with a manual..I mean a manual with all the side effects you could expect.




HOWEVER, it ain't like the experience.


Exhibit A is Nausea which everyone has experienced at least one time or another. Feeling sick to the tummy, can't keep anything down, the smell of everything is overwhelming. Well this was a monster. I could not eat anything , every thing tasted like paper, everything. It sucked and the medicines did not work. I tried to take them when I felt bad...wrong move, you are supposed to take them before you get sick. Trying to take them on time was hard because when you are not used to taking medicines in a regiment format, you revert to how you normally take a medicine...I feel bad. I take a pill! Opps Psych not happening captain....



Next on the list was :

1. Vomiting...I really did not experience this. However, it is a common side effect. So moving right along to another big one on the list that I experienced was Nausea! AGGH!



2. Yucky , sucky, diarrhea need I say more



3. Hair Loss- Now this was funny. I got to do whole separate post on that one....let me finish this list and I will get back, trust it was funny as hell! :) hehhe



4. Fatigue- Now this one was not funny and this one continues throughout the course of my chemo, this is the Mother (God rest Bernie Mac...the architect of Mother F**&) that I cannot shake , just cannot shake. Now mind you as you know by now I am a active sistha! I am involved in something or everything. I work hard, play hard, I do the damn thing and trust Bother FATIGUE will sit a Sistah down. Sit a Sistah down....for real!



5. Anemia - thank God I did not experience this.



6. Infection- I was very, very fearful of this and rightful so. Especially during my first round of chemo my white blood cell count was like 1...which is critical. I could not be around anyone other than Terry and my dog. I spoke to my sister in law Jackie who has been a nurse for over 3o years and who has worked in some of the best teaching hospitals in the nation...she was like put a mask on. Be very very careful around folks, wash your hands , watch your body, take your temperature often. I heeded her advice than and heed it now. I have so far not experienced any infection.



7. Mouth sore---nope



8. Taste and Smell changes: this is a big one. Everything smells bad. everything...nothing taste the same, what I ate today, I cannot eat tomorrow and it lingers in your mouth...it sucks. The first time I was able to enjoy a meal after this first round of chemo. I cried. I literally broke down in tears, I was so overwhelmed with the ability to enjoy the food...The rest was the Anderson Show place Cafe in Newport News wonderful!
9. Menopause or Menopause symptoms.: I experienced this big time....no period ..but hey I got the night sweats, day sweats, hot flashes and baby I was already crazy. You add menopause mood swings on to this! MAN....I am out of control. Crying jags for no reason! Anger to the highest power and I cannot take a thing. Not a thing, because my tumor is fed on estrogen....and we do not want to give the monster any more food , no do we. moving right along to the next on the list
10. Fertility: no worries here. Never wanted any kids, even after meeting T....too old. Got a dog named Bootsy. Now moving on.......
11. Memory Loss: This is a big , I was already add , old and now....you give me drug to help me forget ....come on...they say it is a rumor...Lies it is the truth!
12. Neuropathy: I have not experienced this , however my girlfriend's sister and a friend of mines wife did.

Now you may wonder, why did I go through all this typing for this post. Since I did not experience all of the side effects. Simply cause I wanted to inform. This is serious shit. It is bad enough that the cancer could kill you , but the cure could as well. After this first treatment, I told my sister in law ....Jack, that I can understand how someone could refuse to go through chemo. This is rough sweetie, very rough and 1 round is not normally enough . So choices must be made, if you are reading this and you are someones support system. Understand their complaints and fears, know that they are valid and respect and honor the choices they make. Regardless if you agree or not. You can emphasize but you will never TRULY know , until you feel them. Trust and believe we do not want you to truly know and experience it .....but sometimes we really do want to transfer them to you to take.....heh heehhehheheheheh moving on